Ruby Dhalla is Having a Good Time

I don't really have a problem with double standards in the law as much as I do the absence of certain double standards. There. I said it. Equal justice is highly over-rated.

Hot chicks should be able to get away with whatever they want. Let's take Casey Anthony as just one example.

Look, few people are as sympathetic to single mothers as I am. I've dated a few, and I know the tremendous stress that they live with each and every day. It really isn't as easy or fun as the sitcoms make it out to be. Who knew?

I can't tell you how many times I've been having "alone time with mommy" and had a boy under the age of ten walk in the room whilst I was having my knob polished. Okay, I can. It happened twice. With two different mommies. It was cute the first time it happened and frustrating the third. But if it happens again, I'm blowing my own head off. It's already hard enough for me to cum, goddamnit!

That's why I think hot single mothers like Casey Anthony should be allowed to kill their kids and get away with it. So they have time to date. Don't get me wrong, everybody else can rot in fucking jail for murdering their children. After all, I do place some value on human life. Just not very much. At the very least, there should be a bikini portion of criminal trials, but I don't want to get all Clarence Darrow on everybody.

I feel pretty much the same way about the current controversy surrounding Ruby Dhalla.

The Member of Parliament representing Brampton-Springdale-Theinsideofmypants, Ms. Dhalla is the smokingest thing on the Hill. Even though she's a Liberal, and therefore so evil she actually glows in the fucking dark, I still want her to run away with me. Some things are more important than politics, and those things are almost always my penis.

That's why I'm not all that bothered by the allegations that she was essentially running a slave ring out of her mother's place. After all, was she not declared by Maxim to be one of the Top Ten Hottest Chick Politicians in The World? Why, yes. Yes, she was. That mitigates a lot in my mind, including even murder.

So she took away the passports of Filipino caregivers, paid them less than minimum wage when she paid them at all, and made them perform such essential caregiving activities as cleaning her brother's chiropractic offices, a cousin's place, washing cars and shining shoes.

In the interest of fairness, I should point out that chiropractic offices don't just clean themselves. And that Ruby Dhalla is smoking fucking hot.

Nobody ever looks at both sides of a given a story. I guess that's what I'm here for.

You know what? Ruby could take away my passport and sit on my face until I promised to kick back some of the advertising revenue for ads I never bought to Chuck Guite, and it wouldn't matter to me at all. Mostly because my passport is expired.

Because she's a Liberal, I automatically assume guilt, if for no other reason than expediency. But everybody is overlooking the real issue here, and that is that Ruby Dhalla is smoking fucking hot. Or maybe the aren't. Maybe they just hate her because she's beautiful. And that's just not right. If there was anything even approaching justice in this world, beauty would be the most compelling argument for acquittal available.

However, the allegations are pretty heinous. If say, Elizabeth May were accused of this, I'd argue for her to be buried at sea while she's still alive.

But it looks as though Ruby is going to be the one buried at sea. The noises coming out of her natural allies aren't promising.

Dhalla did not make herself available to reporters yesterday, and Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff would only say he was still "collecting facts" on the case.

What "facts" does Iggy need other than Dhalla is smoking fucking hot and is a Sikh who represents the biggest Sikh-heavy riding in the fucking country? When did facts start mattering to the Liberal Party of Canada? If that's the kind of shit they teach at Harvard, an entire generation of "the Best and Brightest" are even more intellectually screwed than I previously assumed.

All Ignatieff can do is kick Ruby out of the Liberal caucus and make the hottest independent MP in the history of democracy. The Liberal government of Ontario can make her the hottest prison inmate since Karla Homolka's release.

The Star reported yesterday that two nannies, Magdalene Gordo, 31, and
Richelyn Tongson, 37, have publicly complained they were abused while working as
live-in caregivers for Dhalla and her family.

They alleged, during a public forum two weeks ago with two Ontario cabinet
ministers, that their passports were seized, they worked unpaid overtime and
were forced to do non-nanny jobs such as washing cars, shining shoes and
cleaning family-owned chiropractic clinics.

"One question I have is if this information came to light in a public
forum, I would hope that any responsible authorities would have notified the
appropriate officials," Kenney said.

"I think these allegations may have been provided two weeks ago to a
minister of labour in Ontario and I presume that the appropriate authorities
were informed."

Uh oh. Obviously, somebody didn't get my memo about pretty people being - if not actually above -then beside the law.

And that's really too bad. I'm running out of things to masturbate to on CPAC since Rona Ambrose vanished into thin air and I really don't care enough about my country to vote on any other other basis.

Seriously, when will people take a good long look at Ruby Dhalla's face and rack and do the right thing?

In closing, I'd like to quote the great Tyler Durden.

And if that shit sounds boring, you can go just go over here and see naked pictures of Ida Ljungqvist, who was named Playmate of the Year on Monday. Your call.

I might just get over this Ruby Dhalla story quicker than I thought.