Start again.

The more I thought about the 30 day minimalist challenge, the more intrigued I was. Could I really do it????

Doing the math, it amounts to giving up/throwing out almost 500 items in 30 days.

I didn't want to wait until February 1st, I was afraid I would lose the wild inspiration that I felt. So I decided to catch up to the date. For two days I filled boxes with stuff that I didn't need, didn't really want, forgot I had. I am now up to the 25th, and I have divested myself, and this house, of about 300 items. I am amazed, excited, and a little afraid.

By my calculations, I have about 200 more things to find in this house that are not going to stay. This is going to get much harder, I think. My middle daughter asked why I just didn't get rid of 4 or 5 things a day. I answered her this: increasing the number on a daily basis pushes you to really, really dig deep, in your home, in all the little corners that you stuff junk, but also in your head.......asking those questions that really reverberate.....how many cups do we really need? how many towels? how many pairs of socks?

I am pretty sure I can do ONE day in my sock drawer. I know I have a day's worth in the toy box that I keep for my grands. Another in the cupboard in the bathroom, and another in my yarn (knitting) stash. Then there's my fabric scraps. And on and on. You get the drift.

It also makes me think a lot about stuff that I bring in to the house....stuff that I buy.

DH is really, really bad about buying things that he doesn't need, and never uses after he opens the package. Some of those things will disappear soon.

You may wonder where all this stuff is going. A big bag went right in the trash. New bestselling books went to the library....they were happy to get them. Clothes to the thrift shop. A couple of friends took single items that they wanted. Weaving books are getting sold on FB, as well as Handweaving magazines. Knitting books gifted to someone I don't even know, just for the price of shipping.

Boxes of miscellaneous are being picked up later today ..........free.........to someone that contacted me on Marketplace.

The key is: IT'S ALL GOING.

I feel strangely liberated, and I'm not even halfway through.

I am saving the attic space over the studio for last.......that will be my ACE in the hole.

Maybe this is just another way to get through these times. I wonder. My world feels small, confined mostly to my house, the studio, the chickens, dog walks and occasional trips out for necessities.

My day starts like this, soft light through the windows, fire in the stove. Cuppa coffee. The NY Times Crossword. I'm a addict for it, I'm afraid.

Then there's these two, taking their morning snooze, next to me on the sofa. They are such creatures of habit. I really don't know what I would do without them.

The good news is that the steroid injection worked, and I have relief, even if it's only for a while. I am grateful, and hopeful, in spite of the evidence. Isn't life just like that sometimes. I always want to look towards the sunny side of things. Maybe I can push this surgery ahead to a non Covid world. That would be nice.

I did walk the dogs with L yesterday, and it was nice. So far, so good. I'm trying to do a few days a week, not pushing my luck.

I am doing a little weaving, here and there. No pressure, really, to produce, so I'm just (for once) doing

what I want.

To say I am relieved that 2020 is over would be such an undertatement. And maybe I'm foolish to imagine that 2021 will be better, but I have to imagine that, or go crazy.

When I think about all the negatives, I could lose myself in the pity pot. Life is just

damn hard sometimes. Harder for some, than others, that's for sure.

But always, I come back to gratitude.

I have so much to be thankful for. I just have to stop, and remind

myself.

I have also come to the conclusion, that in many ways I am way too hard on myself. Lately, when I realize that I am wallowing just a wee bit, I curl up on the couch and take a little nap. Naya and Willie are all too willing to take one with me. It's probably a comical sight to see the three of us cozied up on the sofa together. I sleep deeply for 30-60 minutes, and when I wake up, the world looks different to me. So I have to conclude that maybe, just maybe, I have worn myself out.

So for now, I will just keep plugging away, doing my best to do what I do......weaving, reading, making soup, walking dogs. Whatever is right in front of me.